Stages 3: Therapy for Preschoolers

A young girl with long blonde hair, wearing a colorful tropical dress and a wide-brimmed straw hat, sitting on a brown leather sofa while playing a small acoustic guitar. Behind her is a wall-mounted American flag banner.

Between roughly 3 and 5 years old, children are stepping out into the world with curiosity and imagination. Erikson framed this stage as the balance between initiative vs guilt. Initiative is the child’s growing ability to plan, pursue goals, and take on new challenges. Guilt arises when children feel that their ambitions or choices are wrong or unacceptable. Successfully navigating this stage fosters purpose—a healthy drive to set goals and pursue them confidently.

This is the “Let me try!” stage. Kids want to plan, create, and take initiative—they might invent games, ask endless questions, or start projects on their own. When supported, they develop a sense of purpose. When overly controlled, criticized, or shamed, they may feel guilt about their desires or capabilities.

A young boy in a peach t-shirt standing at a white table with toys, looking surprised or excited.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy provides a safe and playful environment where children can try new ideas, explore their imagination, and take initiative without fear of judgment. Children learn that it’s okay to make plans, take risks, and even fail sometimes. Therapy also helps children recognize and manage feelings of guilt, turning them into opportunities for learning and self-understanding.

Our Approach:

  • Encouraging Initiative: We let children lead small projects, create stories, or suggest activities, reinforcing that their ideas matter.

  • Celebrating Creativity and Effort: We emphasize the process of trying and experimenting, not just the outcome.

  • Normalizing Mistakes and Missteps: Children learn that mistakes are part of exploration, helping reduce guilt and self-criticism.

  • Supporting Goal-Directed Play: We help children plan and follow through on tasks or imaginative play, fostering a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

  • Gentle Guiding: When impulses or choices may have negative consequences, we provide gentle guidance rather than harsh correction, preserving their sense of agency.

Why It Matters

Successfully supporting initiative helps children develop a sense of purpose, confidence, and agency. They learn that they can plan, try, and contribute meaningfully to the world around them. Therapy becomes a space where “I can do it” grows into “I can create, explore, and make things happen,” setting the stage for self-motivation and resilience in the years ahead.

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STAGE 4